Ahh Gay Marriage, the debate that’s divided the people in almost half. On the majority side we had the enlightened, those that are intelligent enough to realise that two guys getting married wouldn’t even slightly change their view of marriage. On the minority side we have stupid religious fuckwads who believe that their god had the right definition of marriage and that we can never ever change the definition... guess which side’s winning?
Yes sadly for some reason it’s the stupid people making laws that any sane person could see the flaws in without even trying. You don’t even need to have a PHd to destroy every anti-Gay marriage argument, you just need common sense.
To be honest I’ve never understood homophobia at all, or racism for that matter. Hating someone for one unchangeable characteristic that doesn’t affect you in the slightest always seemed to be petty to me. When I hate someone (And believe me I can hate people) It’s usually because they’ve done something that is interfering with my life or is something that they could change if they wanted to, they just choose not to. Those are both fine reasons to hate someone... but for something they can’t change? I don’t think so.
And I know for a fact some people are inevitably going to argue that Gays could change if they wanted to... to quote the late great George Carlin “Some people are really fucking stupid”. If gay people could change then there wouldn’t be any at all, who the hell would stay as an oppressed minority if they have the ability to change into part of the powerful majority? No one chooses to be in a minority, it happens by chance and no one has ever been able to prove otherwise. Everyone who’s ever gone through those Gay Rehab things comes out either still gay, back in the closet or dead. You can’t change it and why should they? What has a gay man ever done to you? Hell a gay man probably did your hair! He probably designed the outfit you’re wearing right now, why would you be against that?
So why do so many idiots believe these crazy lies about gay marriage? Well it just so happens I have a little list of some of the reasons I’ve heard in my life from people who are against gay marriage and I would like to debunk every last one of them right here right now.
1. Kids Need a mom and dad: This is easily the most popular one, it comes in many variations and flavours but it all boils down to the misinformed idea that children of gay parents will turn out wrong. Even if we ignore the fact that almost every study done on gay parents shows that they are just as good as straight parents you can’t ignore one basic fact... Kids aren’t a part of marriage. They never have been, there is no marriage law anywhere on the face of the earth that states that a married couple must have kids. Kids are optional, you don’t have to have one. No one got their marriage licence revoked because they chose not to have kids. Infertile people can get married, no one stops them. If you want to stop gays having kids then you’re in the wrong debate, you want to be in Gay adoption... you’re still an idiot but at least you’re an idiot in the correct argument.
2. Marriage is a holy bond between man and woman: Oh how nice, you want to bring holiness into this argument... here is my counter argument, atheists can get married. Find me someone who’s more anti-religion than an atheist... you’ll never pull it off and yet us atheists are able to get married whenever we want, the law permits it. See this isn’t about the religious aspect of marriage, that’s personal and it differs from person to person. This should be about the LEGAL aspect of it and that’s it. Now if a church doesn’t want to be involved in a gay marriage I’m all for that, they should have the right to do so without fear of a lawsuit. Honestly I don’t know why any gay person would want to get married in a church anyway, hire a hall, decorate it with purple silk curtains and some bright lavender lilies and you got yourself a damn fine wedding.
3. Gay Marriage will lead to bestiality and polygamy: No it won’t... we done? Gay marriage is not a gateway drug, it doesn’t lead to farmers marrying their horses. The idea behind this seems to be if we deviate from the man-woman marriage scenario for this group we’ll have to do it for everyone and that’s simply not true. In order for a marriage to be legal both parties must consent and the only animal I know of that could legally consent is Mr Ed... and he’s glue now so this is a non issue. As for Polygamy, while I am stating outright that it won’t suddenly be legalised I fail to see the problem with it being legal. I mean all parties consented, all parties love each other, what exactly is the problem? If you and your partner are consenting adults I don’t care what you do, provided you consent.
4. Kids will be taught that “Gay is OK”: GOOD! I hope they do. For every gay teen that’s told that it’s OK to be gay you know what we get? One less dead teen. Think how many kids kill themselves each year because someone told them that the way they were born isn’t ok. Now think that we could stop all that death just by letting those kids know that they’re perfectly normal.
5. It’s not natural: Usually this one is trotted out randomly by people trying to make it seem like being gay is a new thing, some strange mutation. Of course they ignore the simple fact that their idea of normality is either religion based or based on the statistics of the majority. If it’s religion based then it’s meaningless, religion has no place in a secular legal system. If it’s based on percentage of the majority then we can also say Red Heads, Jews, Men, Children and people who like Pauly Shore movies aren’t normal... OK I might give them the Pauly Shore one. The last time I saw footage of someone treating a minority group with such disdain was in a black and white film that was hard to understand because it was in German.
These are usually the top 5 reasons any anti-gay marriage person will give to try and say why it’s not OK, and somehow they refuse to admit they’re homophobic. Let me make this crystal clear, if you oppose Same Sex Marriage then you are a homophobe, you’re not trying to protect marriage or children, you are simply a homophobe. There is no way you can get around that simple fact, if you are willing to take away the rights of a group of people then you are nothing more than a lowly hater, no better than the Fred Phelps’ of this world.
“If you don’t believe in same-sex marriage, then don’t marry somebody of the same sex.” ~Wanda Sykes
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